Tag: empathy

  • I Don’t Want to Traumatise Children, but I Do Want to Be Truthful: A Conversation with Jacqueline Wilson.

    I Don’t Want to Traumatise Children, but I Do Want to Be Truthful: A Conversation with Jacqueline Wilson.

    Jacqueline Wilson on letters, empathy, book bans

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    Jacqueline – thank you so much for speaking with me. I wanted to begin by asking, what made you start writing about the experiences of children, and particularly girls, who are facing difficult realities?

    I think it was because, when I was a child, I loved reading but always had a feeling that writers didn’t represent children as they really were. There were no real emotional worries: children were rounding up robbers in Enid Blyton; in school stories, girls were sometimes picked on, but the depiction just didn’t chime with me, even as I enjoyed reading the books. I liked Noel Streatfeild – my favourite book of hers was Ballet Shoes – and the sisters did quarrel, but it just wasn’t any kind of reflection on life. And I don’t just mean my sort of life because I was brought up in a council estate, but many people’s actual private lives. In fact, there’s a moment in one of my childhood diaries where I write in rather ponderous terms that I don’t want to write children’s books when I grow up, because they’re not truthful about children.

    I actually really did want to write for children. And I was lucky that, by the time I started writing, things had shifted a little – there was suddenly room for stories like Tracy Beaker and children in care, or Andy in The Suitcase Kid, whose parents are splitting up. Very sadly, there seem to be more children in care now. And certainly many, many more children whose parents aren’t together anymore. Life has changed.

    I don’t want to traumatise children, but I do want to be truthful. I want them to be comforted, and I want to have happy endings, and I want to have lots of funny bits to break any tension. I want any child going through a horrible time to feel that there’s somebody out there for them, that they’re not alone, that somebody understands what they’re going through. And, if a child is lucky enough to have a very secure family and lots of friends, for them to be able to empathise with other children who might seem a bit withdrawn or weird or angry.

    It does give me great delight when, now, as I sign copies of Think Again,my book for adults, people have said quietly to me that my books had helped them and made a difference to their lives. Who wouldn’t feel pleased and touched that that’s happened?

    Empathy really is so central to your books. You write with such compassion and sensitivity about your characters, and I know this has helped young readers to develop empathy towards others, and to cope with issues in their own lives that require the empathy of others.

    Empathy is so often coded as a female trait, and so many of your readers are girls – though you of course have readers of all genders. I’m interested in your thoughts on this – on what constitutes empathy, and on its value in literature where empathy can be such a gendered notion?

    I know it’s not fashionable to see differences between males and females, but in my experience, if you look at the primary school playground, girls are often going around arm in arm or whispering together, or suddenly turning against another girl, while boys fight or have a fierce argument and then it’s all over and done with, and is kind of more straightforward. I think girls often understand instinctively how somebody else might be feeling – but this is so generalised, because there are obviously many boys who do, and many girls who just want to go out and play football. I do feel that empathy often comes more naturally to women, perhaps because women have traditionally had to raise the children, and to try and think what another person is thinking, what it must be like for that person. That’s where I welcome the fact that so many youngish fathers are very much more in the picture now, wanting to empathise and help out and spend time with their young children.

    I think most women would say that they’re almost fine-tuned into sensing when a child of theirs comes home and they’re a little withdrawn – they just know that something’s happened, that something’s gone wrong. But all I can really write about are my own experiences, and that’s the way it seems to me.

    What do you think the responsibilities of children’s authors are, especially today, when, for example, online misogyny is on the rise, and children can so easily access this content through social media and the internet?

    It’s a huge problem. It’s very difficult. I really don’t know how we get around it, because most children are wily about getting round any blocks on their phones and accessing the most horrible things. Although they’ve got all this knowledge, they’re also in a way more innocent too – they can think that because you see some horrible thing on the internet it must be true that women like to be hurt and humiliated in a sexual relationship. This is what’s so frightening.

    There are very good male adult role models, of course. But there’s this sinister new movement about what it is to be a man, and you’ve got all these young boys who naturally want to get on with others and do what is considered right. But what is right, now? I do feel sorry for them. I just think it’s very hard to deal with.

    Going back to what you said about writing in a truthful way, because your books deal with difficult topics in such honest and open ways, there’s often conversation around your books being ‘controversial’ or even ‘inappropriate’ for children. What’s your response when people (parents, for example) say they don’t allow children to read your books?

    It’s their prerogative. If they don’t want children to read my books, that’s fine. I was in my local bookshop and there was a mum with her daughter and several other girls the daughter’s age, and they were looking at the children’s section. The bookseller is very loyal to me, and has a whole load of my books on that shelf, and one of the little girls said, ‘Oh, oh, Jacqueline Wilson, oh, can I have this one Mummy?’ and she said, ‘Certainly not!’ I fell about laughing in the background. It was very embarrassing.

    I think adults often want to keep their children feeling that the world is safe and cozy – and why wouldn’t you? But I don’t think I’ve ever had a letter from a child or young adult saying they couldn’t bear a book. Once or twice, children have said a book made them cry, and I’ve said ‘I’m so sorry,’ but then one of them said, ‘But I like crying!’ It’s a tightrope, because I want to be truthful but I still want to be entertaining. I certainly don’t want my books to be banned.

    Maybe adults going through a troubled time might, in retrospect, think that one of my books was too upsetting. But mostly I have had lovely positive reactions. There was a trend going round on social media , ‘Jacqueline Wilson traumatised me.’ But I think that was very tongue in cheek. Then there was a sort of counter-movement of ‘Jacqueline Wilson raised me.’ When Think Again came out and, in the initial weeks, there were t-shirts and tote bags with ‘Jacqueline Wilson raised me’ on them. I made my daughter put one on and photographed her, because she’s the only person who could legitimately say that!

    I think that if anyone were to take the trouble to write to me and tell me exactly why they thought a certain book wasn’t suitable, I would read it very carefully and take it seriously. But I’ve never thought This was a huge mistake. It is difficult with books that I wrote, say, 30 years ago, because times have changed enormously. We’ve become much more sensitive about certain issues.

    How much do you worry about book banning in general (which is of course a much bigger issue in America, where many children’s books are being banned from libraries and schools, often those which explore similar issues to those about which you write – like Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret by Judy Blume)? Do you fear this will only get worse?

    I have very few books published in America – they have been banned, I think. It’s a problem. But I do think that, here, publishers do struggle so much. Books are much more carefully edited, copy edited, sent to different specialist organisations to make sure that no offense can be taken. I understand all of this. With me, if something has been pointed out to me that could possibly cause offence, I always think very carefully. Mostly, I accept suggestions or edit myself very carefully. Sometimes, as an old lady, I think really? And just occasionally I will say something has to stay the way it is, because it wouldn’t work in any other way. It is a difficult thing.

    Do you think the reception of your books would have differed at all if they were primarily aimed at boys, and centred primarily around male characters?

    It’s hard to know. Melvin Burgess wrote a book, Junk, about three teenage boys, which delves into their minds, and it was probably a very truthful book, but I’m pretty certain that it would not be on any shelves now – not at all for any sort of issue of literary quality, but because I think people would prefer not to think about what it’s like in a teenage boy’s mind.

    If you look at the top ten children’s books, I would say the majority of them have male characters – from Harry Potter to Wimpy Kid and Tom Gates. Books for children also seem to have changed a bit: they are much shorter and much more heavily illustrated; they deal with issues, but in a comic sort of way. Part of the problem is that any book now comes second to looking at a phone. If I was a bookseller or children’s librarian, I would recommend Impossible Creatures by the wonderful Katherine Rundell, because I think she’s a brilliant writer, and because it’s both quite easy to read and deals with such interesting things, for boys as well as for girls.

    I’d also like to ask about the relationship you have with your readers. Writer–reader solidarity is something that PEN has been supporting for over a hundred years, and it feels like your bond with your readers is particularly special.

    When I was growing up, I adored you and all of your books. I even had a Jacqueline Wilson branded diary that I wrote in, which made it feel a bit like I was sharing my thoughts with you and your characters. I was lucky enough to meet you a few times at book signings, and each time I gave you a letter that I had written, and you always wrote back to me. Your replies are some of my most treasured possessions. What has it meant to you to receive letters from your fans and what does that exchange with your readers mean to you? How valuable is letter-writing today?

    It’s so wonderful. I’ve got boxes and boxes of letters children have written to me up in the attic. Initially, I replied to all of them. But it became difficult because I was spending far more time writing letters than actually writing books. Now I can’t promise that I can write back to everybody, but for anybody who writes a really interesting, sincere letter, or who is going through a particularly hard time, I do try and do my best.

    I was in John Lewis in Oxford Street recently, doing a signing in the new Waterstones bookshop in the store, and there were four people in the queue who had kept their childhood postcards from me. I’m amazed at the number of people who have kept them. It’s just so lovely to feel that people cared enough to put pen to paper (or crayon to paper!).

    There are people I’ve written to almost as if they were nieces. These are very special to me. There’s a young woman in Ireland who wrote to me when she was very ill, when she was about twelve, and we are still communicating. And there’s another young woman I write to who lives outside Glasgow. I recently met up with her, which was lovely.

    There’s a young man who I first wrote to when he was about seven. Now he’s 24 and has recently moved to London, and I think he is coming to visit soon – which will be a bit strange for both of us. But it’s lovely to feel that people have really liked my books. I’ve been sent so many photographs over the years of girls’ bedrooms with all my books, and it’s just so sweet.

    That’s so heartwarming to hear. Finally, I wanted to ask about your experience of writing for adults in Think Again, compared to writing for children. What was it like revisiting your old teenage characters, now in their adult lives, and your younger readers, now grown into their own adult lives?

    It’s surreal. It really is. Often at book signings it’s the mother who’s keener to have a photo than the child. I’ve got this sort of double kind of audience, which is so special.

    It’s been in my mind for a long time to write about a few of the characters I wrote about in the past. I had a conversation with my daughter, in which we were playing about a bit and trying to think what might have happened to some of the characters. Other people have done that online, and there seemed to be some interest. Then, wonderfully, someone approached my agent and asked if I’d be interested, and I said ‘Yes please!’ The Girls series was one of the most popular, so I thought Let’s have a go.

    You’re opening yourself up for criticism a bit, because everybody has expectations about what might have happened. I’ve had suggestions that are so remarkably funny and lurid and certainly not publishable.

    When I was writing about teenage girls, I was endlessly going into schools, and often having to face Year Nine (who can be a bit scary at times). With the permission of the teachers, I could talk to the girls during break time, and ask them what was worrying them the most, who had a boyfriend, whether they were allowed to go out by themselves in little bunches? In Think Again, Ellie is 40; I am obviously way, way, way past 40. I do have some friends who are 40, but you can’t really ask them any really intimate questions, you would feel shy and peculiar and nosy, unless they’re your best friends. So I had to think quite hard about what it would be like for Ellie to be 40. I did have some diaries that I kept when I was that age, but I find it very cringey going back to my diaries, so I tried not to do that. Then, wonderfully, as soon as I started writing, somehow Ellie just came to me.

    I found it much easier than I thought it would be. And I loved writing it, I really, really did. I always like writing, but it was something new. I wondered what it would be like going out to promote it, but I’ve never had such a lovely book tour. People were so kind and so appreciative, which is just the sort of boost you need when you think, Oh, I’m getting old; am I getting past it? 

    A lot of older friends and family have said, ‘Why are you carrying on writing? You’ve made enough money to see you and your partner through and to leave to your daughter; you’ve got a lovely house, and you’ve got lovely books, everything that you would want; why keep on writing, because it must tire you out writing a lot at home and then going out and promoting it?’ One particular friend said to me, very genuinely, ‘I think you should take up doing jigsaws.’ I thought You have no idea what pleasure (and also what anxiety) writing gives me – and it’s not going to happen with jigsaws! I think I just am a writer, and I have to carry on writing while words make sense.


    Interview by Eleanor Antoniou.

    Dame Jacqueline Wilson is one of Britain’s outstanding writers for young readers. Known for her contemporary stories many featuring feisty characters like the enduring Tracy Beaker, she has also used historical settings for many recent books such as Hetty Feather and The Runaway Girls. Opal Plumstead was her 100th book and The Seaside Sleepover is her 120th. Over 40 million copies of her books have been sold in the UK alone and they have been translated into 34 languages. 

    Born in Bath, Jacqueline spent most of her childhood in Kingston on Thames. She wanted to be a writer from the age of 6 and wrote her first ‘novel’ when she was nine. She started work as a journalist for DC Thomson in Dundee where JACKIE magazine was named after her. She has been writing full time, all her adult life.

    Jacqueline has been honoured with many of the UK’s top awards including the Guardian Children’s Fiction Award, the Smarties Prize and the Children’s Book of the Year. She was the Children’s Laureate from 2005-2007 and holds Honorary Doctorates from the Universities of Kingston, Bath, Winchester, Dundee and Roehampton where she was also Chancellor for six years.

  • But where, and to whom?

    But where, and to whom?

    In Croatia, Olja Savičević writes, ‘WWII crimes are being relativized, and history is distorted in the name of religion and patriotism’.

     

    It has been a fresh, cold and rainy spring, when it is more customary to be bathing in the sea by this time of the year. There has been so much rain in the last month that it has been impossible to even walk the dog and stay dry. The rain chucked it down, the dog and I dried ourselves near the stove, but in the end it wasn’t altogether bad: I ended up with a completed collection of poems and finally got some pending paperwork sorted. Among the newspapers, magazines, postcards and letters, I found an anonymous piece of writing in a box of chocolates, dry with age and written in a rough, childish hand. I remembered some of the letters from the box, but not this one, without even a signature.

    The paper had lost its moisture long ago, but the tone of the letter remained decisive, while the content was naïve; the attributes of a young high school student. This letter written almost thirty years ago, before the war, tells me that if I ever find myself in trouble, all I have to do is dress in something red and this guy – the guy writing the letter – this guy will take care of it; the problem will be resolved. Later on, I remember that in high school, I had suspected the author to be a guy who played the guitar and used to tease me. He had disappeared at the beginning of the war, shortly after the letter arrived, without a word and without trace, just like so many others of the ‘wrong nationality’ – even though they had nothing to do with the war. I’ve heard that this self-conscious, potential  superhero is now a doctor in Belgrade. So he is still saving lives. I returned the anonymous, forgotten letter to the box, with the others that I’m not going to throw away: I’ll leave it for my kids to one day consign them to the recycling.

    On the internet I read a report on the site Are You Syrious?. It is aimed at volunteers trying to help migrants, by raising awareness of what is happening, by informing the public. The text says that in Korenica, a small town in the region of Lika, police officers had beaten Syrian migrants before taking away their food and clothes, and smashing their mobile phones. This happened in a garage, the news says, behind a blue door. The colour of that door attracts my attention: why was it important for anyone writing down such a story to note the colour of the door? The blue door of the garage make this horrible story even more horrible – behind the blue door the horror creeps closer to us. Nevertheless, I find nothing more about this incident on the other (rare) independent media sites.

    I talk about the report to the first person I meet: a neighbour with whom I sometimes walk the dog. She claims that people are not able to understand anything that they do not feel on their own skin. She gives me examples from real life.

    I mention empathy, but I’m no longer convinced of what I’m talking about. Most people are not really empathetic, not capable of standing back even a metre from their own experience.

    Some of the volunteers who have worked for years with vulnerable groups of people have told me that in practice empathy is sometimes a disorder; people with too much empathy are easily broken and mostly useless in crisis situations.

    On the other hand, the masses are blind, which is why we have these closed borders, these populist leaders all over the world, and the countries of the former Yugoslavia, the country where I was born, can be a stand-out example of this sorry situation. We have politicians who are guilty of stealing, beating, even murdering, of causing mass emigration from their homeland and leading their country to the brink of disaster, and yet many people still love them. Fearful people love those who have caused them misfortune, the mighty, from whom they might one day draw some benefit. This will always result in a hatred of the weak. Such people feel secure in hatred, a desirable hatred, at first quite weak, but then ever stronger, as the desire of the mighty grows. Have we not seen it before? Even great men were blind. Eugene Ionesco, the author of the play Rhinoceros, described precisely the process from which a little hatred and fear grows into terrible fascism that consumes humanity until it has swallowed up the last man. Yet even he was blind to the suffering of his Jewish friend and colleague, Mikhail Sebastian.

    I see the blindness around me growing again, I notice how women’s rights are being taken away from them, how Ustasha and Chetnik crimes from WWII are being relativized, how history is distorted in the name of religion and patriotism, so that people in Split and Zagreb, it has been said, have more empathy towards uprooted trees than towards those migrants behind the blue garage door.

    Sometimes I feel a sense of panic and the need to do something. I feel like shouting. But where and to whom? Even if I had a place to voice my thoughts, I think people would simply turn away from me.

    In the book of selected poems by the Chinese poet Jidi Majia that I am currently reading, there is a poem titled I Will Always Love the Small and the Weak which reads: ‘But when we have to deal with the cries and screams of the innocent / We cannot manage to save them from hell on earth.’ And really, what use is our empathy for ‘the small and the weak’, what can it do outside the text, in real life?

    We cannot fix things; just as that boy who sent me the anonymous letter couldn’t take care of himself, let alone me. We are at best chroniclers of the absurd, those who write of suffering and pain in the hope that they will not happen again. Maybe we are those who will continue to celebrate freedom and the joy of living and the right to freedom of choice, for as long as there are readers, an audience, spectators, who will feel encouraged or even think for a moment about another’s misfortune. The world is self-satisfied, turns its head, sees with one eye closed and the other half-open. But when we close that half-open eye, too, it will be the end, the beginning of darkness. Every day you have to wake up and see the colours: the red shirt, the blue door. We can always choose whether to see or not.


    Olja Savičević is a prize-winning Croatian author who works across many different genres, including fiction, theatre, poetry and children’s books. Her books have been translated into multiple languagues. Her best-selling novel, Farewell, Cowboy (translated by Celia Hakesworth), achieved great success in the region and was adapted into a stage play. Her latest novel translated into English, Singer in the Night, received a PEN Translates award.

    Translated by Susan Curtis.