Tag: Israel

  • No more trips to the beach, no more ice cream in Gaza

    Last year I took my three year old son, Zino, to Gaza on his second trip to visit his grandparents, three uncles, four aunts and many cousins. It was warm; the April wind wasn’t too chilly for his half-English, half-Palestinian olive skin. Despite waiting for hours at the Egyptian side of the Rafah border, we got in and, to Zino’s delight, a family beach trip was planned for the next day. He is in love with the fresh air and sea water and was thrilled when he was taken by my two fishermen uncles on their small fishing boat.

    Today, Zino is four and a half years old, a bit older, and asking difficult questions. Not just the ‘How was I born?’ type, but also ‘Why is Gaza being bombarded?’ The innocent soul inside him doesn’t comprehend why that lovely holiday place is being ruined. A few days into the assault on Gaza, he was watching Channel Four News and saw images of destruction from the tragic attack on four children playing football on the same beach where he once stood and had an ice cream. I will never forget the look on his face as he turned around to me. He recognised the beach but only said, ‘Oh no, there will be no ice cream in Gaza, and it is too hot.’

    gazaboy

    The ones who are paying the heaviest price in this tragic situation are those innocent souls. Zino is thousands of miles away in London, yet he is having his fantasy world of Neverland shattered in front of his eyes on the small screen. The children living in Gaza have of course paid a higher price than anyone, not just with their bodies, but with the destruction of their own fantasies, the same ones that may have kept them going in what has now become a wasteland around them. Seeing their beach, playgrounds, schools, hospitals, homes, mosques all being targets for the Israeli war machine has left them with nowhere to go, not even the little worlds inside their heads. Over the phone, my six-year-old nephew tells me, ‘Spiderman and Batman cannot come to Gaza to fight the baddies because the border is always shut.’

    This kind of thing doesn’t make the news on a lot of international media outlets, who keep on reporting Israeli propaganda without even any fact-checking, always giving the same excuse of a Palestinian rocket having been fired from the vicinity of a school.

    Even if we assume this is correct, which hasn’t been proven, does this give anyone the excuse to target an area deliberately, knowing that it is highly likely that children will be killed?  Those very same children have now witnessed three wars on Gaza in less than six years.

    I have written about those previous wars and had hoped that I wouldn’t have to again. Now I am writing this and dedicating it to the spirit of those children in Gaza, not those who died, because hopefully they are happy somewhere else, but to those who are still there, to those who have become Hogwarts ghosts as the assault rages on. Thousands are either badly injured or waiting for their turn.

    Zino wants to go back to Gaza as soon as the border is open. He already knows that it will be different from last time. But he says he wants to go so he can take the recipe for ice cream. His Teta (grandmother) can make it then give it to the children in Jabalia Refugee Camp.

  • Life in War

    Nayrouz Qarmout follows her short story for PEN Atlas with a gripping diary piece from the heart of the conflict in Gaza, describing what it’s like to look after family, prepare food, and scan the internet for messages as the missiles fall.

    Translated from the Arabic by Ghada Mourad and Tyson Patros.

    I sleep for only a few hours at a time. I haven’t really been able to sleep since the beginning of the war on Gaza. My eyes hurt; I have a constant headache, never-ending worry. I do not know what the date is, or how many days have passed in this war. Night has merged with day. In the early morning hours I try to think of nothing other than the sound of birds, an antidote to the hum of warplanes and drones, to which my eardrums tremble. My bed and my window shake when missiles fall and crash like earthquakes.

    I try to relax in the hope of getting some sleep. My white cat, with her fluffy fur, sneaks onto my bed. She moves her whiskers on my face and bites my feet to woo me into giving her some food. I feed her despite my drowsiness. With every powerful hit of a missile the cat races, terrified, to shield herself beneath a table or chair – it’s her survival instinct. Even my cat is trying to preserve her life during the war. I know the location of the missile strikes by observing which direction she runs away from danger.

    I have a beautiful canary, but he no longer chirps like the rest of the birds. He too is afraid of the sound of explosions. I try to talk to him, and sing for him, until he pecks at my fingers. Then I know that he has returned to life.

    I decide to take a few hours sleep in the morning, given that I didn’t sleep at night. But every time I hear a powerful strike I unconsciously take my iPhone from the side of my bed and begin to browse and read the news, commentaries, and people’s reactions to what’s happening in Gaza. I make sure that my friends and relatives who are on Facebook are okay. I read the articles that discuss the war on Gaza and share the links, but I don’t understand my mixed feelings. In every moment of fear, I look to the daylight and I feel reassurance engulfing me. I don’t know, perhaps it’s faith in life.

    Amid the warplanes and the navy ships and the tank shells, Israel imposes a curfew without announcing it directly to residents. I remain at home, fearing the danger of moving in the streets or leaving the house. I feel like I’m in a tiny prison, like those held in the prisons of the occupation. I try to have a nice and meaningful day. I love to walk, and so I walk for long hours inside the house. I count the tiles on the floor. I recount the tiles on the floor. I organise my thoughts. I envision my world. I think about what’s happening. Sometimes an idea of what to write occurs to me while walking. I walk until I reach a window and I stand beside it. I look out onto the street, to the sea, and to the colours of the sky near the sea. I take a deep breath and feel relieved that I still sense the beauty of the image.

    My brother’s daughter – the brother who married recently – is only four months old. I play with her a lot. She is very beautiful. Her eyes are bright. She has a huge smile wide enough for the world. Two days ago she realised that she can take hold of the things around her. She grabbed my hand and it made me rejoice. But when somewhere nearby was bombed, she clenched my hand firmly, and as soon as the sound of the strike ended her smile returned. I feared for her. I hugged her for a long time. She is truly an amazing child that knows no fear.

    The electricity regularly cuts out. We try to compensate with electric generators and UBS batteries, and thanks to them we are able to operate many of the appliances. I turn on the television to see the live broadcast of events in Gaza, the opinions of political analysts and the international perspectives about what’s going on. I feel bored. A lot of repetitive talk. As soon as I see the images of massacres and blood in Gaza I feel sad, I weep, but I quickly regain my composure and turn off the television.

    I turn on the radio to listen to the local stations. Their correspondents broadcast from the field and announce the names of the martyrs and the wounded. They play uplifting revolutionary songs. I talk to my father, who has a deep knowledge of Palestine’s history, and we try to predict what might happen.

    My mother is also very keen to discuss the situation in Gaza. She shares her conclusive opinions about what’s happening on social media using her iPad. In this month, the month of Ramadan, we’re accustomed to preparing so many delicious dishes and meals. As soon as my mother feels in danger she prepares the most wonderful food with hints of rare spices. She has mastered cooking the food of Damascus; she was born there. She craves a cigarette after fasting, even though she stopped smoking years ago. But she began smoking again with the onset of the war. She laughs and says that our life is going up in smoke ‘so let me enjoy my cigarette!’ She recounts for us the circumstances that the Palestinian people have faced and the struggle she and my father have gone through. They joined the Palestinian Liberation Organisation. She said ‘we were young then, and we could resist with all our energy’. I help her. I joke with her. I provoke her a bit, because I love her anger.

    Our housekeeper cannot come to work. His house is far away and the road is dangerous. He also has a small family to look after. My sister and I take it upon ourselves to clean the house and arrange the belongings. I love to clean the floor and see it shine. In this act, I think that everything becomes clearer in my mind. Every day I take great pleasure in wiping clean the dust of the bombing and destruction that engulfs the house and its furniture. We leave the windows open to avoid a build up of air pressure in case of bombing. And I cannot turn on the air conditioner or the fans as they require the windows to be closed and need electricity. The summer is very hot here. You don’t find a lot of plants and trees in Gaza. The occupation has uprooted most of our trees, which increases the heat, and increases the humidity of the air because Gaza is on the coast.

    I love to polish cups and glasses. I search for tranquillity and calmness within me. I reorganise the cups in the cupboard. I watch satirical Ramadan television programmes on Arabic channels with my brothers. They steal us away from the stifling atmosphere of war, which lays siege to our movements, dreams and aspirations.

    My brother loves to smoke nargilah and play guitar. I love the embers of the charcoal when they burn, the pull of the water pipe and the scent of fruit that flavours the tobacco – even if it is harmful for your health. I love listening to music. When people smoke nargilah the conversation and joking intensify. We become sad when we remember my uncle who was martyred by a direct hit of an Israeli missile years earlier. It was my uncle who taught us how to prepare the head of the nargilah and fill it with tobacco. My uncle was so happy when we returned to Gaza from abroad after the Oslo Accords. He pulled me out of the car window to kiss me, all those years ago. He hadn’t seen my father for more than twenty years as he had been forcibly exiled from his country. We discuss what’s happening as if we are young again. We have points of view which we try to analyse and connect to reality. We drink coffee to help us stay awake and alert if danger arises. The smell of coffee is amazing. It is lovely.

    I love to prepare desserts. We prepare a special dessert during Ramadan – Qatayef. It’s a pancake that we glaze with butter, then fill with cream, sprinkle with grated pistachios, and soak in honey and rose water. We feel distressed and pray even more for people who have no food; they already lost everything. And yet I don’t want us to lose the beauty of this month despite the harshness of the circumstances. We have to live.

    I shower a lot because of the severity of the heat. I love water and the lather of soap. Even though we filter the water several times with specialised equipment to be able to use it, it’s still polluted. Israel stole our water. I think of those who were displaced from their homes and not even permitted to bathe. They have no water. They have no beds to sleep in. We try to donate through aid that is collected by every single neighbourhood; clothes, food, money and many other necessities. But I know that they are not at peace as they lost their homes and their stability. I thank God that we still have our home. But there is an ache in my chest for those expelled from their homes.

    I write and I write. I write my diaries, or a political article, or a prose poem, or a short story. I burst with anger at what’s happening. My people deserve nothing but life. I observe the various cities throughout the world that are in solidarity with us. I feel reassured that true humanity has not dissipated. Many friends, here and abroad, contact us to check on us. They raise our morale. They ask, ‘how are you all doing?’ We always say that we are doing well. But the reality is that Gaza is not well. We are trying to persevere until the end.

    I try to sleep again, but I am very alert. Any movement wakes me. My brother sneaks into my room quietly and takes my computer charger. He wants to exploit the electricity before it cuts out again. His movement wakes me even though he walks with extreme caution. I laugh. I try to go back to sleep.

    One night among these nights of war, my family and I felt that the air was suffocating us. People said that toxic gases had been released into the air. We must be wary of them, shut the windows and drape soaked cloths over our noses. We were confused and didn’t know whether to open the windows for fear of bombing or to shut them for fear of poisonous gases. We were not able to sleep. Laughter pervaded the house. My brother and sister and I don’t know why we laugh. We figured that maybe it was laughing gas. It is the irony of the situation in which we live.

    On another night, the Israeli Occupation Forces launched a missile to warn us of a more intense bombing that would be arriving shortly. We deferred our sleep until the strike, and gathered in the middle of the house searching for safety. We do not have any safe shelters. The bombing was delayed. Where is the warplane? Bomb us and finish your disgraceful work, we want to sleep!

    Israel drops flyers from the sky, advising that we vacate our homes, warning that they will invade some of our territories. I scoff at these flyers. I prefer death over serious injury or another exodus. I do not want to be displaced. I shall die in my home. Yet I swear that I love life.

    Ghada Mourad is a PhD student in Comparative Literature at the University of California, Irvine.

    Tyson Patros is a PhD student in Sociology at the University of California, Irvine.

    The Book of Gazaedited by Atef Abu Saif, and published by Comma Press, brings together some of the pioneers of the Gazan short story from that era, as well as younger exponents of the form, with ten stories that offer glimpses of life in the Strip that go beyond the global media headlines; stories of anxiety, oppression, and violence, but also of resilience and hope, of what it means to be a Palestinian, and how that identity is continually being reforged; stories of ordinary characters struggling to live with dignity in what many have called ‘the largest prison in the world’.

    Another testimony from Nayrouz Qarmout has been published in The Electronic Intifada.

  • PEN Atlas Q&A: Otto Dov Kulka

    Interview by Tasja Dorkofikis, PEN Atlas editor

    Landscapes of the Metropolis of Death combines your experience of Auschwitz as a boy between September 1943 and January 1945, your ‘private mythology’, with deep historical analysis and understanding, which you have acquired as a historian later in life. At what point did you decide to combine these two individual perspectives?

    It always was with me. However, in my scholarly work I have strictly separated these two dimensions while completely avoiding the mentioning of my autobiographical experience as a boy in Auschwitz. There was no place for exploring my own past in my historical research, which was always based on documentary, mostly archival material, and its analysis and evaluation. But this was not the case the other way around. Auschwitz was ever present, but only in my diaries and dreams and, from a certain point on, also in tape-recorded monologues, where I dived into the ‘Landscapes’ that I have called the Metropolis of Death. In these ‘Landscapes’ my reflective thoughts as a historian were already present.

    You recorded your memories of Auschwitz and you kept them private for a long time. Why did it take you so long to make your recordings public?

    I started the recordings in 1991 and continued until 2001. All these recordings and my diaries existed for my self-understanding only and, as mentioned above, I regarded it as illegitimate to mix them with my scholarly, strictly impersonal research (for example: an article on the Familienlager found in the appendix of my book – written in the ’70s) but when I was diagnosed with advanced cancer fifteen years ago, after an operation and chemotherapy, the surgeon told me that I had only two to three years to live. This was in 1997.

    I decided to have the recordings and diaries typed up, and did another recording, to round off the series. I consulted a publisher friend and told him that I wanted the texts to be part of my literary estate. He said there was a chance that they might be considered for publication and that I had to make up my mind about this. I gave the transcript to a few colleagues and friends to read, and had a selection translated into English. But for a long time I doubted whether these texts could reach anyone other than me. I sent the English text to a few colleagues abroad, and first and foremost to Ian Kershaw, with whom I have worked together in research and exchanged ideas for years. Ian and others analysed and commented on it in great depth. But the first to hear some of the recordings was my friend, the historian Saul Friedländer, who a few years earlier published his book When Memory Comes. Saul told me unequivocally that I must publish. All of them tried to persuade me to make this manuscript accessible to the public. But it took me another decade to decide. Only after publishing three major documentary and research projects between 1997 and 2010, on which I was working many years before, was I ready to embark on the new road of publishing my ‘non-scholarly’ work.

    You survived Auschwitz in Familienlager, or ‘Family Camp’ allowing families to be housed together, their heads unshaved and wearing civilian clothes. You describe it yourself in the book as a ‘miracle, whose meaning no one understood’. The history of the family camp is relatively unknown to the general public. Can you tell our readers more about the role of the Red Cross in this part of the Holocaust’s history?

    I have written a scholarly article on the history of the so-called Family Camp based on the documentary material that I discovered in one of the German archives. You will not find a trace of my personal experiences in this article, written in 1980. It appears as the appendix in the book Landscapes of the Metropolis of Death. I refer to it in my book and not the other way around. But beyond the documentation mentioned in my article, I did not research further on the role of the Red Cross during the Nazi-period. I only wish to clarify here that the documents include an exchange of letters and negotiations between Adolf Eichmann’s department in the Main Security Office of the SS and the German Red Cross, and between the German Red Cross and the International Red Cross in Genève. The negotiations discussed the question of a possible visit to the Ghetto of Theresienstadt and a Jewish camp in the East, which could have been identified as the Family Camp in Auschwitz, by the International Red Cross.

    You talk about the cultural life in the camp, about concerts, performances and classes. You say that these experiences ‘form the moral basis of your approach to culture, to life, almost to everything. Historical, functional, and normative values and patterns of life were transformed into something in the order of absolute values’. How do you think this was possible?

    What I mean here is that the education that went on, even in the world of the children’s block of the Family Camp, was unprecedented. Since education is, in its essence, always oriented to the future and the future was the only thing that certainly did not exist for those children and their educators in Auschwitz, it was not performed for any other purpose than for its own existence. That makes the values underlying this education ‘into something in the order of absolute values’.

    The book describes some ‘fond memories’ like classes in history and literature, a friendship with a young man who gave you his copy of Crime and Punishment, or an image of blue skies above the camp, signifying for you: ‘the colour of summer, the colour of tranquility, the colour of forgetting.’ How do you think these positive memories managed to stay with you, and were even possible?

    The only possible answer I have is my existence, and the fact that those memories are living with me and shaped my entire life.

    Your book tries to look at how your memory preserved and processed the trauma of Auschwitz.  This is, of course, a very personal and unique process. You experienced Auschwitz as a 10-11 year old boy who was confronted on a daily basis with images of death and atrocities. How do you think this differs from experiencing Auschwitz as an adult? From remembering it?

    We, the children in the children-and-youth barrack, were not directly exposed to the atrocities that were part of the daily life of the adult inmates. But we were of course aware of the presence of the Great Death and of, what I call in my diaries and in the book, the ‘Unalterable Law of the Great Death’, meaning that there was no way out of Auschwitz and we were all doomed to die there. Through these metaphors and other abstractions I have been able to internalise and express the world of these atrocities.

    You describe an episode when a children’s choir learnt to sing ‘Ode to Joy’ in a lavatory barrack where the acoustics were good. You wonder in the book whether the choice of music and that particular text was an act of defiance, expressing belief in absolute values despite the reality of the camp, or a case of ‘extreme sarcasm.’ Which interpretation do you lean towards?

    In my professional life as a teacher at the university I am trying to understand and convey my understanding of absolute values, of the humanistic interpretation of history, including this period. But the other case you mention is always present within me with all its ambivalence. My own attempt to understand this history and my approach to it is shaped by this polarity.

    The ‘Immutable Law of Death’, the ultimate certainty that one was going to die, was how you saw what was happening in Auschwitz. Yet you survived through chance. ‘However much I know that I must be caught. I always know, too, that I must be spared. It’s a kind of circle’. You talk about this a lot in your book and about other images of escape and return. Are you finally free from them now?

    No.

    What do you think is the role of ideology when exploring the history of the final solution? And how is scholarship and understanding of that period at all possible when one is faced with events of such utter horror?

    There is a very nice sentence that often appears in the rhetoric of commemoration: ‘What happened in this period was perpetrated by humans to other humans.’ In my eyes this is not much more than a truism. What happened then was perpetrated by humans who have devoted themselves to a radical racialist ideology or were ruled by it. They believed in it or believed in its necessity to ‘save’ the nation or even the world from what they regarded as disastrous, universalist ‘Jewish spirit’ and its bearers were the Jews. This ‘redemptive anti-Semitism’ was the very core of national socialist ideology and the imperative behind the attempt at the ‘Final Solution’. Once this ideology and its charismatic leadership were defeated, or in other words, when Germany was liberated from them, most of the former perpetrators returned to being normal liberal citizens of post-war European society.

    After your visit in Auschwitz in 1978 you never went there again. Why?

    The impressions of my return to the deserted landscapes of the ruins of Auschwitz in 1978 were so powerful and are imprinted in my memory and imagination so deeply, that I am not willing to reshape or overwrite them. These were my own childhood landscapes, in which I always find a kind of freedom, which exists only for me. I am always afraid that I will be alienated from these impressions through receiving different images.

    You moved to Israel when you were still very young and your father stayed in Czechoslovakia. What does Israel mean to you?

    I moved to Israel in the year 1949 at the age of 16 in the awareness that I am participating in the great historical event of the return of an exiled and dispersed nation to its ancient homeland. This also meant for me and my generation an attempt to create a new society based on humanistic values and the active participation in the revival of an ancient language and the creation of a modern culture built on a historical heritage. My father first stayed in Prague, with his new family. But in 1968, after the Soviet invasion of Czechoslovakia, which crushed the dream of the Prague Spring, he joined me.

    About the editor

    Tasja Dorkofikis is the editor of the PEN Atlas as well as a freelance editor and publicist. She used to work as Publicity Director at Random House and most recently at Portobello Books as Associate Publisher and Commissioning Editor. Tasja shares her time between London and a small village in Vaud in Switzerland.

    Landscapes of the Metropolis of Death recently won the the Jewish Quarterly-Wingate Prize 2014. The book was translated by Ralph Mendel.

    The memoir explores Otto Dov Kulka’s haunting memories of a childhood spent in Auschwitz. Breaking years of silence, it is now translated into 17 languages.

    Landscapes of the Metropolis of Death is available from Penguin.

  • PEN Atlas Q&A: Otto Dov Kulka

    Interview by Tasja Dorkofikis, PEN Atlas editor

    Landscapes of the Metropolis of Death combines your experience of Auschwitz as a boy between September 1943 and January 1945, your ‘private mythology’, with deep historical analysis and understanding, which you have acquired as a historian later in life. At what point did you decide to combine these two individual perspectives?

    It always was with me. However, in my scholarly work I have strictly separated these two dimensions while completely avoiding the mentioning of my autobiographical experience as a boy in Auschwitz. There was no place for exploring my own past in my historical research, which was always based on documentary, mostly archival material, and its analysis and evaluation. But this was not the case the other way around. Auschwitz was ever present, but only in my diaries and dreams and, from a certain point on, also in tape-recorded monologues, where I dived into the ‘Landscapes’ that I have called the Metropolis of Death. In these ‘Landscapes’ my reflective thoughts as a historian were already present.

    You recorded your memories of Auschwitz and you kept them private for a long time. Why did it take you so long to make your recordings public?

    I started the recordings in 1991 and continued until 2001. All these recordings and my diaries existed for my self-understanding only and, as mentioned above, I regarded it as illegitimate to mix them with my scholarly, strictly impersonal research (for example: an article on the Familienlager found in the appendix of my book – written in the ’70s) but when I was diagnosed with advanced cancer fifteen years ago, after an operation and chemotherapy, the surgeon told me that I had only two to three years to live. This was in 1997.

    I decided to have the recordings and diaries typed up, and did another recording, to round off the series. I consulted a publisher friend and told him that I wanted the texts to be part of my literary estate. He said there was a chance that they might be considered for publication and that I had to make up my mind about this. I gave the transcript to a few colleagues and friends to read, and had a selection translated into English. But for a long time I doubted whether these texts could reach anyone other than me. I sent the English text to a few colleagues abroad, and first and foremost to Ian Kershaw, with whom I have worked together in research and exchanged ideas for years. Ian and others analysed and commented on it in great depth. But the first to hear some of the recordings was my friend, the historian Saul Friedländer, who a few years earlier published his book When Memory Comes. Saul told me unequivocally that I must publish. All of them tried to persuade me to make this manuscript accessible to the public. But it took me another decade to decide. Only after publishing three major documentary and research projects between 1997 and 2010, on which I was working many years before, was I ready to embark on the new road of publishing my ‘non-scholarly’ work.

    You survived Auschwitz in Familienlager, or ‘Family Camp’ allowing families to be housed together, their heads unshaved and wearing civilian clothes. You describe it yourself in the book as a ‘miracle, whose meaning no one understood’. The history of the family camp is relatively unknown to the general public. Can you tell our readers more about the role of the Red Cross in this part of the Holocaust’s history?

    I have written a scholarly article on the history of the so-called Family Camp based on the documentary material that I discovered in one of the German archives. You will not find a trace of my personal experiences in this article, written in 1980. It appears as the appendix in the book Landscapes of the Metropolis of Death. I refer to it in my book and not the other way around. But beyond the documentation mentioned in my article, I did not research further on the role of the Red Cross during the Nazi-period. I only wish to clarify here that the documents include an exchange of letters and negotiations between Adolf Eichmann’s department in the Main Security Office of the SS and the German Red Cross, and between the German Red Cross and the International Red Cross in Genève. The negotiations discussed the question of a possible visit to the Ghetto of Theresienstadt and a Jewish camp in the East, which could have been identified as the Family Camp in Auschwitz, by the International Red Cross.

    You talk about the cultural life in the camp, about concerts, performances and classes. You say that these experiences ‘form the moral basis of your approach to culture, to life, almost to everything. Historical, functional, and normative values and patterns of life were transformed into something in the order of absolute values’. How do you think this was possible?

    What I mean here is that the education that went on, even in the world of the children’s block of the Family Camp, was unprecedented. Since education is, in its essence, always oriented to the future and the future was the only thing that certainly did not exist for those children and their educators in Auschwitz, it was not performed for any other purpose than for its own existence. That makes the values underlying this education ‘into something in the order of absolute values’.

    The book describes some ‘fond memories’ like classes in history and literature, a friendship with a young man who gave you his copy of Crime and Punishment, or an image of blue skies above the camp, signifying for you: ‘the colour of summer, the colour of tranquility, the colour of forgetting.’ How do you think these positive memories managed to stay with you, and were even possible?

    The only possible answer I have is my existence, and the fact that those memories are living with me and shaped my entire life.

    Your book tries to look at how your memory preserved and processed the trauma of Auschwitz.  This is, of course, a very personal and unique process. You experienced Auschwitz as a 10-11 year old boy who was confronted on a daily basis with images of death and atrocities. How do you think this differs from experiencing Auschwitz as an adult? From remembering it?

    We, the children in the children-and-youth barrack, were not directly exposed to the atrocities that were part of the daily life of the adult inmates. But we were of course aware of the presence of the Great Death and of, what I call in my diaries and in the book, the ‘Unalterable Law of the Great Death’, meaning that there was no way out of Auschwitz and we were all doomed to die there. Through these metaphors and other abstractions I have been able to internalise and express the world of these atrocities.

    You describe an episode when a children’s choir learnt to sing ‘Ode to Joy’ in a lavatory barrack where the acoustics were good. You wonder in the book whether the choice of music and that particular text was an act of defiance, expressing belief in absolute values despite the reality of the camp, or a case of ‘extreme sarcasm.’ Which interpretation do you lean towards?

    In my professional life as a teacher at the university I am trying to understand and convey my understanding of absolute values, of the humanistic interpretation of history, including this period. But the other case you mention is always present within me with all its ambivalence. My own attempt to understand this history and my approach to it is shaped by this polarity.

    The ‘Immutable Law of Death’, the ultimate certainty that one was going to die, was how you saw what was happening in Auschwitz. Yet you survived through chance. ‘However much I know that I must be caught. I always know, too, that I must be spared. It’s a kind of circle’. You talk about this a lot in your book and about other images of escape and return. Are you finally free from them now?

    No.

    What do you think is the role of ideology when exploring the history of the final solution? And how is scholarship and understanding of that period at all possible when one is faced with events of such utter horror?

    There is a very nice sentence that often appears in the rhetoric of commemoration: ‘What happened in this period was perpetrated by humans to other humans.’ In my eyes this is not much more than a truism. What happened then was perpetrated by humans who have devoted themselves to a radical racialist ideology or were ruled by it. They believed in it or believed in its necessity to ‘save’ the nation or even the world from what they regarded as disastrous, universalist ‘Jewish spirit’ and its bearers were the Jews. This ‘redemptive anti-Semitism’ was the very core of national socialist ideology and the imperative behind the attempt at the ‘Final Solution’. Once this ideology and its charismatic leadership were defeated, or in other words, when Germany was liberated from them, most of the former perpetrators returned to being normal liberal citizens of post-war European society.

    After your visit in Auschwitz in 1978 you never went there again. Why?

    The impressions of my return to the deserted landscapes of the ruins of Auschwitz in 1978 were so powerful and are imprinted in my memory and imagination so deeply, that I am not willing to reshape or overwrite them. These were my own childhood landscapes, in which I always find a kind of freedom, which exists only for me. I am always afraid that I will be alienated from these impressions through receiving different images.

    You moved to Israel when you were still very young and your father stayed in Czechoslovakia. What does Israel mean to you?

    I moved to Israel in the year 1949 at the age of 16 in the awareness that I am participating in the great historical event of the return of an exiled and dispersed nation to its ancient homeland. This also meant for me and my generation an attempt to create a new society based on humanistic values and the active participation in the revival of an ancient language and the creation of a modern culture built on a historical heritage. My father first stayed in Prague, with his new family. But in 1968, after the Soviet invasion of Czechoslovakia, which crushed the dream of the Prague Spring, he joined me.

    About the editor

    Tasja Dorkofikis is the editor of the PEN Atlas as well as a freelance editor and publicist. She used to work as Publicity Director at Random House and most recently at Portobello Books as Associate Publisher and Commissioning Editor. Tasja shares her time between London and a small village in Vaud in Switzerland.

    Landscapes of the Metropolis of Death recently won the the Jewish Quarterly-Wingate Prize 2014. The book was translated by Ralph Mendel.

    The memoir explores Otto Dov Kulka’s haunting memories of a childhood spent in Auschwitz. Breaking years of silence, it is now translated into 17 languages.

    Landscapes of the Metropolis of Death is available from Penguin.

  • Notes from a Safe House in Area A

    Selma Dabbagh returns to PEN Atlas, and to Ramallah, to stay at the Guest House of the Qattan Foundation. In this dispatch, she writes about the physical and bureaucratic walls that divide the territory, records the sounds of the Old City, and explores the impact of the Oslo Peace Accords on Palestinian literatureI felt a compulsion to either love or hate Ramallah intensely; to embrace it as my homeland or to reject it as an abject failure of a Palestinian political system replete with corruption and compromise. To feel ambivalent did not seem like an option for a place that is so hard to get into for people like me and so hard to get out of for its inhabitants. Diplomats, the United Nations and others can glide in and out; those who might possibly have an impact are not encouraged to experience its reality. The separation barrier or The Wall surrounding Ramallah is guarded by the multi-shedded wired-up Kalandia checkpoint. The entrance to Ramallah is a sight befitting the set of a modernist Wizard of Oz or a remake of Brazil. There is a large red sign before you reach the checkpoint: “This Road leads to Area A under the Palestinian Authority. The Entrance for Israeli Citizens is Forbidden, Dangerous to Your Lives and Against Israeli Law.” To sit in cafes in the city, with names like Pronto and Café de la Ville, consuming Caesar salads and espressos, inspires a sense of banality not compatible with the knowledge of a bigger picture of incarceration. It is, however, human nature to do ordinary things in extraordinary circumstances; to make the extraordinary ordinary, and to just get on with it.”There is no meta-message for Ramallah,” a political science lecturer friend says to me as we drive past the Ramallah Museum, which according to him leaves a lot to be desired. “We were discussing this in class and could not come up with a meta-message for this place. Not in art, or history-“”Could it be the non-violent resistant movements of the first Intifada?” I suggest helpfully.”What are you talking about?”His wife says, “Me. I am the meta-message of Ramallah.”The more I get to understand about this businesswoman, lecturer and mother of four, who from her garden can see the red lights of new settler outposts blinking on the hillside, the more I realize that she isn’t joking.The Qattan Foundation in Ramallah is a majestic early 20th
    century stone house with arched windows and a terrace, where John Berger, a former Qattan Guest House Resident, debated long into the night with the Foundation staff under hanging grapes parceled up in papery plastic bags. The offices are empty for much of the time I am there; I arrive before the Eid holiday at the end of Ramadan. Fig thieves drive up one day in a car. “Is everyone away?” they ask as I work at the outside table. “Yes everyone,” I reply to their beaming faces. They set about picking figs and bagging them up before a young man comes towards me offering a small plate of fruits with a gallantry lost many years ago in the West.The Guest House, behind the Qattan offices, is structured like a CIA safe house, a bare concrete structure with a heavy metal door. Behind it a mobile mast straddles the hill. To the right a 10-storey building is being constructed by two men in T-shirts who, with an air of vagueness, occasionally hang on ropes and tap at it with picks. It is rumoured to belong to Mohammed Dahlan, the controversial Palestinian Authority figure (henchman, spy, murderer of Arafat, himself a victim of conspiracy?). Behind this maybe-one day-it’ll-be-a hotel looming concrete cavity is the locked Christian cemetery where the murdered American archaeologist Albert Glock (central character of Edward Fox’s Brilliant Palestine Twilight: The Murder of Dr. Glock and the Archaeology of the Holy Land) is buried. A lone mongrelly dog pads up to my door, keen on taking a place on the rug. I try to feed it lasagna from a doggy bag, sure that its doting behavior is driven by its stomach, but it couldn’t care less. The day before I leave, a dignified film-maker, with the dapper air of the Rive Gauche, saunters up the path with a see-through plastic bag of freshly chopped meat, and I understand the dog’s contempt for my offerings. A lizard pokes its head through the hole for the television aerials in to my room most evenings.image001doggyOne writer or artist can occupy the Guest House at a time, for a period of up to three months. Before me was a Brazilian filmmaker who was loved by the unnamed, well-fed dog. The messages in the guestbook rage and lament, and document inspiration from Ramallah. I mull over what my entry will be, am determined not to write a word until just before the end of my two-week stay, waiting for the meta-message to strike me like a holy prophecy. This turns out to be the wrong approach, as my goal of writing three scenes a day, seeing as much as I can (including stand-up comedy by a Palestinian American comedienne with cerebral palsy, Maysoon Ziadeh, who sits down), together with the chaos and agony of my friends’ lives, ends up taking over my life, and my scrawl of “Taxi’s here, must go–” ends up being the testimony I leave the Guest House with, next to the calligraphy and care of Berger et al.Mahmoud Abu Hashhash, responsible for the Literature Programme at the Qattan Foundation, is one of the few people with something good to say about the peace deals of the 1990s and the impact they have had on Palestinian society. He agrees with me that the upside of Oslo is that there seems to be a new era of iconoclastic writing. Writers feel freer to write about the faults in their society and their personal experiences, rather than being boxed in by the Palestinian national narrative. “Everything changed after Oslo,” Abu Hashhash says. “It both questioned the way that people dealt with themes and political issues as well as making writers more stylistically experimental.” This year 26 novels were submitted for the annual Qattan award, more than double the previous year.I am here to write a play commissioned by BBC Radio 4 and to record,with a Marantz recorder, which I have been trained to use by my producer in London as though I am assembling a bomb, background noises or ‘Atmos.’ I have a list of atmospheric sounds that I need to collect to fit the scenes of my play.My play follows the journey of a woman, Rasha, who comes from an old Christian Jerusalemite family, travelling back to the Old City on her one-day permit. During that journey she discovers realities about the father she adored which she would rather not know. My list of required ‘Atmos’ includes the following: (1) EXT. Quiet Jerusalem street. Close to front door. 5’00” time: 1800 (2) EXT. Communal taxi, 1 rear door closing, stationary (3) INT. Humble family home living room. 5’00” very early morning.I learn to interpret the world through sound. I jump at a horse-drawn cart jangling down the street and put on my headphones, fiddling with sound levels; I appreciate more the lyricism here of the adaan call to prayer (none of the screaming vitriol of some of the mosques I have heard in Pakistan, Egypt and the Gulf) as well as the loudest wedding music ever. At 6 am one morning, I take my character’s journey from the village of Eizariya to Jerusalem. I had lived there when I was 22, travelling into Jerusalem each day (it took 15 minutes then, it takes over an hour now) to write pithy paragraphs on shootings for the human rights organisation where I once worked. The village of Eizariya is now a town; I can’t see the bare rooms where I lived; a town divided by the Wall which is scrawled with graffiti and blotted with the marks left when someone tried to burn an absolutely non-flammable object. The Wall is a horror that disorientates as much as it divides. In East Jerusalem the shabab youth shoot toy bullets and throw silly stones at the car my UN friend drives me around in, as they think we are from the other side. An Israeli flag the size of a billboard flutters over a house bought from a Palestinian, found shot dead days later in Jericho. There are houses taken over by settlers everywhere in East Jerusalem. Fake shrines and false archaeology. It’s an efficient, aggressive and disciplined takeover; a systematic making-ugly of all that is Palestinian.I carry my Marantz recorder hesitantly as there are soldiers, and then I start asking shopkeepers if I can record here, there, on the street, in the church, by the underwear shop, in the garden, and by the end I am marching through the Old City from the Jewish quarter to Damascus Gate with the orange-headed mike swaddled like a baby in my arms, picking up the sounds of rice falling against brass dishes, Chinese toy dogs barking, soldiers’ radios, touts shouting about the Stations of Christ and souvenirs, the woeful singing of Filipino pilgrims, and the scratch and start of amplifiers calling the faithful to prayer against the bells of others.Once, I am dropped at Kalandia after going for dinner in Jerusalem. It’s late. 11 pm and for some reason they have closed the checkpoint. The Israeli soldiers have the jitters (“They are always nervous,” my aunt says later). The temperature drops at night. We should all stand here, no there. Stand, wait. They call someone out of the queue randomly. You, you, man come here, I need to check your papers. I am nervous for the man pulled out and I have no vested interest. I am glad it is not me, but I am nothing but privilege in this gathering as I have a maroon document in my bag. You, you, go back. In the cars, women dressed and made-up for parties sit impatiently, children squirm in their seats, horns start beeping. There is no reason for the closure, but everyone talks as though talking enough, asking enough, showing resilience, disdain, contempt will reduce it, make us rise above it. The wall slides open and Israeli soldiers, machismo bristling out of their necks, rev their engine as their jeep drives comfortably through the man-made gateway to the other side.About the author

    Selma Dabbagh is a British Palestinian writer based in London. She is the author of the novel, Out of It, (Bloomsbury, 2011). Her short stories are mainly set in the contemporary Middle East. Recurring themes in her work are idealism (however futile), political engagement (or lack thereof) and the impact of social conformity on individuals.

    In 2004 and 2005 she was selected as a Finalist for the Fish International Short Story Prize and was English PEN’s nominee for International PEN’s David TK Wong Prize in 2005. Fish also nominated her for the Pushcart Prize in 2007.

    Her work has appeared in International PEN’s Context: The Middle East magazine, Qissat: Short Stories by Palestinian Women and NW15: An Anthology of New Writing. Her work has been praised by reviewers in The Independent, The Guardian, The Times Literary Supplement, Al Ahram Weekly, the Times and The Sunday Times.

    Some of her short stories, reviews of her work and interviews about her are available on her website.

    Selma is currently working on a second novel and a fiction feature film with the director Azza el Hassan.

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